The Good....and the Bad

The Bad.

This week has been going really well and I am really looking forward to WI this Saturday...that's right ladies, I said I was looking FORWARD to weigh in! Except I did have a little itsy bitsy slip last night. It could have been A LOT worse and I managed to control it but I really didn't know how bad it was until this morning......here goes

Last night a bunch of friends and Scott and I went out to a local Sports bar to watch the Sens-Ducks Game (Boo Ducks). We got there around 8:30 or so and I decided to have a drink. Just one drink...to fit in with the sport's bar atmosphere. I mean who actually goes to a Sport's bar and orders an ice water?? Not me, that's who. So I couldn't really think of anything to order and asked the waitress what types of coolers they had. Right there I should have asked if they had any Light varieties of these coolers but as soon as she said Orange Bacardi Breezer, I was sold. I've had a long and intense love affair with these coolers that ended abruptly last summer when I may have had one too many....ok it was more like 5 too many of these yummy coolers. Last night I was FINALLY ready to give them another chance. So I ordered one and the first sip made me fall back in love. For those of you who have tried these coolers, you may be able to sympathize with how I was feeling. One wasn't enough.....two wasn't enough......three.....well I MADE myself stop at 3 (but only because I had to get up at 6:00am for work).

The Good.

After three Bacardi Breezers, I started with the cravings. Of course everyone at our table was ordering wings and appetizers and I was constantly surrounded by the smell of yummy greasy pub food. I even asked for a menu at one point and even considered throwing in the towel for the night in favour of a large basket of Mozza Sticks and Ranch Dressing, my absolute favorite of the yummy greasy pub food family. But in the end, I made the right decision....I didn't even have one bite! Nothing, nada, zip! Just my coolers (which I found out today equaled to about 435 CALORIES!!!) I drank away almost 450 calories! Yikes! But at least I didn't touch the food..I have to congradulate myself for small victories! Take em where you can get em I guess. Tonight I am going out to dinner with Sarah but luckily she chose Vito's and it has a menu specifically designed for my meal plan so I am pretty safe there, and I will be sticking to the good 'ol ice water tonight for sure. After I am home, Scott and I are planning for an after dinner walk so I am looking forward to that. Don't I have the best husband? His comments are so great...he is the most supportive husband in the world....I would NEVER have lost 70 lbs without him!!

Thank you SO much for all your advice about the camping trip...I think everyone had the same idea and I'm going to go out and buy the 1 point hot dogs...does anyone know of any 1 point hot dog buns??? Weight Watcher maybe?? I am also going to marinade some chicken and bring a big salad! (Thanks Kate!...any marinade suggestions anyone?? I did buy honey mustard today which I will try for tomorrow)

Carolyn

Why are the weekends just so hard???

I have had a great week so far on plan! I have been playing by the rule book and haven't stepped out of the zone once. It feels so good to be back in the zone, I swear someone could offer me a huge chunk of chocolate cake and ice cream and I don't even think I'd flinch (ok maybe this is a little extreme, I might need to at least smell it to get a small chocolate fix) But I just feel like for the past few says, I am back in business. After my long weekend splurge, I could feel the lbs come back on, my clothes weren't as loose and I just FELT awful, and bloaty and big. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. We've all been there. Last weekend I did pretty good on my weekend challenges. I did have my chocolate bar and maybe one too many glasses of wine but all in all I think I did ok. This weekend is yet another test. Why are the weekends SOO hard?? It feels like a little mini vacation where calories don't count and all foods are fat free. But unfortunately that is not the case....weekends are just regular old days where a pound of chocolate will still make you gain weight and feel terribly guilty.

This weekend we are heading camping with a ton of friends, Scott's best friend is home from Afghanistan for a few weeks so we are all heading out to brave the wilderness...well not really, we are going to a nice camp right on the water which is actually quite nice and luxurious! But still, I like to think we'll be roughing it. Camping, is always an activity which involves lots of eating and drinking. Sounds like fun, but it isn't too easy on the waistline. Especially when the roasted marshmallows are broken out and someone just happens to have brought all the requirements for SMORES! I am going to try to pre-plan...bring my chicken for the BBQ, make a big salad to munch on all day but for some reason, the smell of BBQ hot dogs drives me to madness!! I LOVE BBQ'd hotdogs.....they are my favorite!! So now I am trying to make a judgment call...should I just stay strong and stick with my chicken and veggies while everyone else is eating chips, BBQ hotdogs and hamburgers, corn on the cob, seafood etc or should I go out and buy the Schneider's 1 point hotdogs...just in case?!?!?! I am worried that I will get there and throw caution to the wind and start chowing down on those bog 5 points hotdogs and go nuts. I really DO want to stick with my chicken and veggies...I know I will feel better if I do. The next day my stomach will thank me, I'm sure of it. What does everyone think would be my best plan of action!?!?


My next WI is on Saturday before we leave for the camping trip so maybe that will direct me and give me more motivation to stay on track...unless I see a gain...then I fear for my poor stomach!! Help! :)

Monday Monday

Well my first weekend on the "revised" plan went pretty well and I must say I did pretty well at the wedding shower as well. I didn't even TOUCH the desserts...and there was a ton of them! My mother in law had ordered two dessert trays from Sobey's for the shower and they were filled with cheesecakes, eclairs, mousse...alll VERY decadent desserts. they look amazing but I stayed away. I didn't even touch the Chocolate Peanut butter Marshmallow squares and they are one of my favorites!! I stuck with the veggie tray and other than that, I had about a 1/2 cup of potato salad and 2 small pieces of cheese. So overall I did really well. I STUFFED myself with the veggies first so that I wouldn't be tempted by the desserts. for dessert, I stuck with the fruit tray. I was pretty happy with myself afterwards. I think the secret to my success was that before the shower I had went out and bought a Mars bar and left it at home. The whole time I was at the shower, I was thinking about my Mars bar and how great it was going to taste!!! When I finally got home and was able to indulge, it was heaven!! Everything I expected and more! All in all, I would say I did pretty good on my weekend challanges. I know I am still carrying around a few extra lbs though from last weekend's splurge (I think I honestly gained about 5 or 6 lbs!!) but I know it will come off it I keep it up. My next WI is on Saturday so I need to work my butt off to get back down there.



I also had a great NSV on Saturday. It was 35 C on Saturday and it was sooo hot here in New Brunswick, I think we were experiencing a heat wave. When I got back form my walk on Saturday morning, I couldn't stand the thought of putting on jeans and I didn't have any shorts or capris that fit me anymore so I went down to Suzy Shier in search of a cute jean skirt to wear to the shower. With my best friend in tow, we searched and searched and took about 7 or 8 different shorts/skirts into the changing room. Well I found the CUTEST little jean skirt in a size 9!!!! And I happened to notice that it was just a little loose around the waist so I asked my best friend Ryan to grab me a 7 just to be humorous....well I tried it on and IT FIT!!! I couldn't believe I had gotten myself into a 7!!!! 7!!!! I saved the tag and I am thinking about framing it :) Granted it was a skirt and they tend to fit a little bigger anyway and it has lots of stretch in it... but I don't care...it's a 7!!!!

That was my weekend in a nutshell....to be quite honest I must say I did have a few glasses of wine Saturday night when I got home but it was just what I needed after such a long day planning the shower, decorating and all that jazz. How was everyone's weekend??

TGIF!! & Day 4 back on the Wagon!

It's Friday and not a moment too soon. What a week! Today is Day 4 back on the wagon after my weekend long SPLURGE. I still can't believe I ate THAT MUCH junk and tried to justify it! I haven't gotten on the scale yet but I honestly think that I may have gained about 5 or 6 lbs from eating horrible all weekend. I could feel my clothes were not as loose and I just know how my body felt and it felt like it had put on 5 lbs. I have decided not to jump on the scale until I have at least put in a full week back on the wagon, if not more.

So last night I was thinking about it and I came up with a plan to make my new meal plan more livable and I think I may have figured out a way to avoid weekend binges, at least for now. The meal plan that I am on is SUPER strict. You HAVE to eat what's on the menu and there is no wavering. For the first 2 weeks I did awesome....ate exactly what I was supposed to and lost a ton of weight. But then those odl craving started coming back and as much as I tried to fight them....that just got stronger. I realized that the diet is so strict that it pretty much led me to a weekend binge fest. I couldn't handle it. I just love chocolate WAY too much to say good bye to it for 6 whole weeks. Last weekend I went crazy with eating...it was insane. If I listed all the junk I ate, you would be horrified!! To name a few there was Nibs, chocolates bars, brownies, pizza, more Nibs, more pizza, pasta smothered in cheese, garlic bread. YIKES!!! I'm talking MASSIVE amounts of sugar and fat. INSANE! I also decided that I may be on this meal plan for more than 6 weeks if I want to get down to my goal. I'm ok with that, I really am used to tit now and I actually look forward to my chicken and veggies for supper!! I crave it.
The only hard time I ahve is on the weekends....the weekend always kill me. Especially with summer around the corner and Scott and I have SO much planned. Every weekend there is something planned.

So What I came up with is to stick to my meal plan STRICTLY throughout the whole week and then on the weekend, allow my ONE small treat. That way I will have something to look forward to all week AND I will be able to say no to other temptations because in the back of my mind I will be thinking about that ONE treat that I am allowed to have and how great it will be. I really think this one treat thing will keep me from binging again. I may not lose weight as fast as I would like to lose it if I do indulge in this one treat then it will keep me from going mentally insane. I have also decided that this treat cannot be over 6 WW points. Just so I don't get carried away and choose a big hunk of cheesecake or a big 25 point meal as my ONE treat. So what do you all HONESTLY think?? (Sarah?? Honest opinion??) Do you think this will work? Even if I lose 1-2 lbs per week I am happy with that. Do you think this one treat will throw the whole week of strictness away?

So here are my weekend challenges:

• Bridal Shower on Saturday night with LOADS of food and desserts (even a chocolate fondue!) On a brighter note though, there will be a veggie tray and my plan of action is to have just chicken for supper and stick to the veggie tray ONLY. I won't be partaking in alcoholic beverages at the shower so I should have a clear focused head!

• Baking on Saturday morning: I need to make frogs and Chocolate Peanut Butter Marshmallow squares. I have decided to make them first thing in the morning so I am not as tempted but still. C'mon, it's chocolate peanut butter marshmallow squares!!! Thankfully my Mom has offered to help and she can slap my wrist away!

• Sunday dinner out with the family: Luckily I chose the restaurant and chose Vito's, an Italian restaurant that has a menu specifically designed for my meal plan so I can choose off of that menu and I shouldn't be TOO tempted....until the desserts are rolled out. I can do it!

• I also would like to get in a 50-60 min power walk first thing Saturday morning as well as an afternoon walk on Sunday (maybe to the Nature Park?)

So that is it for me today, hope everyone has a GREAT weekend. Wish me luck with all my road blocks and tell me what you think of my new plan!!

Back on the Wagon...for good

First of all...THANK YOU sooooo much for all your wonderful comments. I love looking at before and after pictures of people who on are this crazy thing called a weight loss journey. It's such a great motivation! I think everyone should take before and after pictures to remind themselves how far you have actually come. It's easy to forget what it felt like to be over 200 lbs. (WOW That is the first time I have admitted that I was over 200 on this blog, even though if you did the math, you could easily figure it out but admitting that I let myself get over 200 lbs, and well over to be honest; It still makes me feel insecure and nervous, like I am being judged or something)

It so easy to forget how miserable I was at that stage in my life but at the same time, I still haven't shed many of the tendencies I used to have when I was very overweight. I still walk into a store and get nervous that I won't fit into my size. I still look for black clothes, everything black because I think black will make me look smaller. It's funny how those things never really go away. I spent so many years worrying about my weight and being overweight that I can't get rid of all those old tendencies.

On a positive note, after a horrible weekend (on the eating front) I am back in the zone. Yesterday I had a perfect day (meal plan wise) I got in all my meals, ate healthy and just generally felt like I was back in control again! I felt horrible on Monday (which was a holiday) I felt like I had gained 5 lbs (I still haven't braved the scale) and I just generally felt gross....of course I consoled myself with FOOD! (Yet another old tendency) I ate and ate...not because I was hungry...but because Tuesday, I was getting back on the wagon, so I had to get in all the grease and sugar I could before I got back on that wagon. Why do we do that? I really didn't need all the junk I ate but I ate it because it felt like I wouldn't have it again for a very long time, so I was able to justify the HORRIBLE eating. Of course by the end of the day I felt like I was back up over 200lbs and getting up off of the couch was even a difficult chore! But I did it, I accepted it and now I am MOVING ON!!!! I am 100% back in the zone and nothing is throwing me off this time. I can do this...right? I can stay on the plan and not be tempted by sugar and chocolate and pizza! I have about 11 lbs to go and I'm not giving up untuil I get there. I've come this far, I can't give up now!

How is everyone's week going??

My week in a nutshell...

So I haven't been posting much lately because things have been so hectic. My mom is down visiting from Ontario so most of my time is spent catching up with her plus I had my graduation ceremony on Friday so I was tied up with that for a while. I weighed in on Friday (not sure why I weighed in 2 days early but I did) and I was down another 1.5 lbs! So I was really quite pleased with that. So for the 3 weeks I have been on my new meal plan (well almost 3 weeks, officially three week on Monday) I have lost 11.5 lbs. I feel fantastic!! I think it is just the jump start I needed. I even bought a new dress for graduation and I felt so great in it! I didn't want to take it off!!! I can't wait until July when we have a wedding to go to and I can wear it again! I still can't even believe my eyes when I look at the tag and see a size small!! I am going to post a picture of before and after...I really don't have many before pictures because I would never let someone take a picture of my in full length....I always positioned myself for the chest and up picture! In this before picture, I was kind of hiding behind someone else so you can't get the full view but this was probably about 60 lbs ago, about 10 lbs before I hit my all time high. The after Picture is of me this past weekend on my way to my university graduation.

I weighed in the morning before the picture on the right was taken and I had officially lost 71.5 lbs. My ultimate goal is to lose 83 lbs but I am in no big rush and know that I will get there eventually. The important ting is that I am leading a healthy lifestyle....that being said....I fell off the wagon last night. BIGTIME I knew I was falling off, I was totally aware of it the whole time, I was even looking forward to it!! I splurged and went WAYYY overboard. I talked myself into it and told myself I deserved it for graduating from University. Why do I always feel that I have to reward myself with food??? I went to East Side Mario's with my hubby and ordered a pasta dish and he ordered pizza and we decided to split. Then we headed to the movies and of course got LOADS of treats to go along with it. By the end of the movie I was feeling awful and so was Scott. This morning though I'm back on track, I've jumped back on the wagon and I'm hanging on for dear life. There is no way I'm getting off now. I had my one night and maybe it was a good thing. I just needed to break away, even just for one night. But it's over, I've accepted it and now I'm moving on!

I have also been lacking in the workout department because it's been raining her for an entire week so I haven't been able to get out for my walks plus my Mom has been visiting so I have been trying to spend as much time as possible with her...but let's face it. Those are all just excuses and I could have totally worked around them if I had put my mind to it. But I didn't. Tomorrow I am back to the 4 workouts a week AT LEAST. I need to get my weights in, I have been seriously slacking.

How is everyone else doing??

BULK BARN = DEVIL

It's a dreadful rainy day here today and we are expecting rain until Monday! Yuck! Where is the sunshine and hot weather? I need to break away from sweaters and shoes but it's hard to do when a city only 1 hour away from your home is getting 15-20 cm of SNOW today!!! YUCK! yuck yuck yuck!! The great thing about it though is that my Mom came into town last night! I haven't seen her for 6 months so it was great to reconnect again, it's awful living so far away from your parents, especially your mother.

I learned a valuable lesson last night. The Bulk Barn is every dieter's worst enemy. Scott, Mom and I popped in last night to pick up some almonds and a few spices. Well as soon as you walk into the joint, your surrounded by candy and chocolate and everything else that is no good for you. As soon as I walked in, I smelled chocolate. It's been 17 days since I've tasted chocolate and I must say, it's the one thing I miss the most! I love chocolate, any kind of chocolate. So I tried to stay focused and just go to the nut isle and the spice isle but I found myself wandering over to the candy isle just staring (and drooling) over macaroons, slowpokes, dark chocolate, light chocolate, broken chocolate bars. It was hell. Simple as that. That was the hardest 10 mins I have had since I have been on this new meal plan. I am lucky that both my Mom and hubby were there to keep me from binging. If I had been alone........well I might have just had ONE handful, but we all know what one handful turns into....1 day of "oh what the hell, I have been doing so good, I deserve a day off"...then it turns into 2 days, then a week. I'm proud of myself for doing good but I miss chocolate!! I know EXACTLY what I will be using my flex points on for my first week back on WW...CHOCOLATE! That is one great thing about WW, you don't get these crazy cravings....so far they haven't been 2 bad, I have basically just had 2 bad days but the ever dropping number on the scale helps me to get over them. My next WI is on Saturday so I am anxious to see how it goes!

Hope everyone is having a happy hump day!!