It so easy to forget how miserable I was at that stage in my life but at the same time, I still haven't shed many of the tendencies I used to have when I was very overweight. I still walk into a store and get nervous that I won't fit into my size. I still look for black clothes, everything black because I think black will make me look smaller. It's funny how those things never really go away. I spent so many years worrying about my weight and being overweight that I can't get rid of all those old tendencies.
On a positive note, after a horrible weekend (on the eating front) I am back in the zone. Yesterday I had a perfect day (meal plan wise) I got in all my meals, ate healthy and just generally felt like I was back in control again! I felt horrible on Monday (which was a holiday) I felt like I had gained 5 lbs (I still haven't braved the scale) and I just generally felt gross....of course I consoled myself with FOOD! (Yet another old tendency) I ate and ate...not because I was hungry...but because Tuesday, I was getting back on the wagon, so I had to get in all the grease and sugar I could before I got back on that wagon. Why do we do that? I really didn't need all the junk I ate but I ate it because it felt like I wouldn't have it again for a very long time, so I was able to justify the HORRIBLE eating. Of course by the end of the day I felt like I was back up over 200lbs and getting up off of the couch was even a difficult chore! But I did it, I accepted it and now I am MOVING ON!!!! I am 100% back in the zone and nothing is throwing me off this time. I can do this...right? I can stay on the plan and not be tempted by sugar and chocolate and pizza! I have about 11 lbs to go and I'm not giving up untuil I get there. I've come this far, I can't give up now!
How is everyone's week going??