Thursday, October 25, 2007

I let it slip away...

My motivation and determination. I let it go. I got a little overly confident and I've been resorting back to my old (& bad) ways. I was seeing such big losses on the scale! I was doing so well! That extra muffin, or little bag of pretzels isn't going to hurt me right?? Right? WRONG!

I'm coming clean ladies.

It's the only way....

Warning: Following admissions may shock and possibly disgust.

Saturday started off wrong with Omelette's and Chicken bacon for breakfast. I missed my cereal so I had some for lunch. Supper was eaten at my brother's and was a mix of egg rolls, rice, stir fry and meatballs. Apple crisp and Crispy Crunch ice cream may have also been added. The night was capped off with a Snickers bar and a bag of Baked Doritos. Did I need these? NO. But it was Saturday and I wanted to use all of my flex points! Ugh

Sunday it was a piece of Graham Cracker Pie and Crispy Crunch Ice Cream that I SO did NOT even remotely have the points for. Oh and don't forget the black bean dip and mutigrain Tostitos! I had already used ALL of my 35 bonus points before I even made my way over to dinner at my brother's house. But there I was scarfing down chips and dip and pie and ice cream. Loving every minute of it.

Monday it was an extra 2 muffins (Yes 2!) and as Angie so nicely pointed out, those 1 point muffins aren't really one point when you are cramming in 2 or 3 at a time. I had already used up my points for the day but I couldn't resist. In total, I had 3 muffins on Monday night. 3 Muffins!!! That's probably about 5 or 6 points if I added it up correctly instead of trying to convince myself that it's only 3 points!

Tuesday I found myself wandering dangerously close to the vending machine at work around 3:00 when I usually get the munchies. I had the Rold Gold Honey Wheat Pretzel twists. They were three points. I only counted them as 2 on my journal. Why??? I don't friggin know. I'm only lying to myself! Then there was the end of the day when all points had been used. (Also I must admit that 2 points were spent on Fat Free frozen Whipped cream right out of the tub) and I wandered over to the fridge for no reason and cut off about an ounce of low fat cheese and scarfed it down. I NEVER eat cheese right out of the fridge. This is NOT like me.

I should also mention that Saturday through Wednesday I consumed well over 2 L of diet pop, which again, is NOT like me at all. I usually have about 2 glasses of diet pop a week and I always save it up for the weekend, like Friday night with my homemade pizza.

Wednesday things are starting to look brighter and I start coming to my senses. Kind of. I had a mini melt down at the gym because I forgot my elastics. My hair is really long and thick and working out with it flying around it not even an option. When I start sweating it feels like I am having a heat stroke. Well I ran over to the store across the way to buy some elastics and of course they didn't have any, not even a rubber band! So instead of staying calm, I storm off to go get groceries. However, I did have an NSV yesterday. We had a unit meeting after lunch and I was in charge of picking up some munchies. So I went and got a veggie tray (that will teach them to send the WW girl to get munchies!) but I also bought some Cherry danishes for the people who like sweets. Well as they were being passed around I took out a small Danish and placed it on my plate. I must have stared at that thing for about 10 mins before deciding it wasn't even worth it. Threw my napkin over it and smooshed it up. ANd I stayed within all of my point yesterday.

Thursday I am feeling good DESPITE seeing a 1 lb gain on the scale this morning but I deserve it right? I mean look at how my week has gone so far??! It just really helps to spell it all out n here so I can really see where I've been going wrong. Lots of "empty points" seem to be finding their way back into my plan as well. Have to kick that habit. No way am I straying from my points today. No. WAY.

As far as Kelly & Sarah's exercise Challenge I have 2 workouts in so far, another one will be added tonight after work and yet another tomorrow after work. Yup. You heard me. I'm going to the gym on Friday. I've never been to the gym on a Friday. Hmm I wonder what it's like. I guess I'll find out. Saturday I plan on either A) going for a walk or B) spending 2 hours raking leaves. That should round off my 5 workouts.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies (not that you had a choice) but you have no idea how much it helped me re-focus!


  1. RYC: They closed down Mother Tuckers (totally sad) it's allll out on the table and you can let go of it. Being 100% with yourself by confessing to us if the biggest most important thing because you are right on - because by lying and fudging your points journal it's only lying to yourself and it's not going to affect anyone else whatsoever. You only owe the honesty to yourself and no one else. Ultimately, this is your journey. Coming clean was a good idea because now you can feel like you can start fresh and put it behind you.

    -I am addicted to Multigrain Tostitoes.

    -I would have skipped the gym without an elastic too.

    -I would likely have eaten that danish without looking directly AT the danish, thereby it not really existing....

    -I ate the timbit and not the apple ;-P

  2. Just put it in the past and leave it there! The most important decision you will make is whether to let your stumbles define you, or use them to learn about yourself.

    Try to find alternate foods that might fill the same cravings for sweets or crunchies. I play games with myself, only eating that sweet alternative for my after workout snack.

  3. Boo you! Drop and give me 20!
    Don't you dare lie to yourself. if you're going to go over, go over, but don't cheat.
    You better start pushing it or I'm going to beat you!
    (that was supposed to be motivating, not stressful and not time to give up!) Remember you're wearing a short skirt this weekend!

  4. i expected a lot worse! i wasn't disgusted at all. life happens. cookies & cakes are at events, its just hard to keep it in moderation sometimes. at least you can recognize that, ya know? today i caught a glance of myself in the mirror-tinted door and thought, he i look good today! and i thought "why cant my butt be smaller or why can't might thighs be smaler?"....had to follow up the positive with a negative thought. but then i thought to myself..."what would i look like if it DIDNT try to count points & go to the gym"...probably not good at all. so focus on what you ARE doing right and try to get everything else into place. no one is perfect & slipups happen. thats just life! beautiful & full of

    and i totally relate on the elastics. for me its elastics & bobby pins. i have side-swept bangs and i hate them sticking to my forehead or bouncing around on my face. so annoying!!

    good job with the exercise plan. the good thing about the gym on fridays is that it's pretty empty ;)

  5. How can I be disgusted when I have been there myself. Don't worry, it seems like you are getting back on track, good for you.

    I have also lied in my journal once or twice, can't tell you why I did it. I've also told myself that Cheetos are 0 pts since they are just air.

  6. Just posting about it means you're back on track! Not sure about you guys, but the last thing I want to do when I've been bad is blog and admit it to the world.

    I'm not trying to give you an out for the not-so-great choices you've made, but after two awesome weeks in the loss column, I know that my body would be trying like hell to convince me every step of the way to put it back on.

    Also, are you drinking enough water? I decided to double mine yesterday and MAN has it made a difference! Today I've been so full I haven't even finished all of my snacks here at work.

    You're doing great though. Don't dare let a few days get you down!

  7. It's soooo easy to fall off track, isn't it? I had two weeks of that. But I've been good this week. Yay!

  8. that was supposed to be shocking? that was just a little foolish and out of control for a few days. You will turn it around.

    I have thick curly hair and can't even think about doing anything physical unless it is contained. I keep a clip on my visor and my purse strap for just those occasions!

    You are back on track...You'll get there!

  9. Way to come clean! It happens to all of us, you know, but you're doing the right thing, getting back on the wagon!

    As for gymming on Friday nights: I love it! I do it all the time. It is practically empty!

  10. no need to thank me for the comments! thats what blog friends are for :)

    can't wait for the office!!

  11. Oh my...I thought it was going to be a lot worse. Hunnie, that's nothing we all haven't been through, and hell I have to admit I've done way worse. I think sometimes we just need to do that, and then we feel sick and get over it. That was brave of you to admit it, and you will get over it. Hell when I reached goal, I got real careless because I was feeling so good about how great I looked, and then I gain some weight, but then I snipped it in the butt and got over and back to work at it. Unfortunately you have to work at it or be aware of what enters your mouth if you want to live a healthy lifestyle I've become aware. You'll be fine.

    Good job with the workouts. I love going to the gym on Friday and Saturdays because it's dead. People are out partying!

  12. Ugh, it seems like lately it's so easy to slip into that cycle isn't it?

    I know lately I will have a great On Plan week, and then Friday night I will eat my face off. I'm just shooting for one good solid week on plan. It used to be so easy, but now I find it so hard.

    You came clean though, now its time to get back on plan! Go!


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